Mediation Focused on Solutions

Liza Hill

Marriage starts out blissful and beautiful - but it can sometimes turn ugly before you even realize what's happening. That's what happened to Jill* and Bob* after just six years of marriage and three children. A short time living overseas for employment reasons introduced new challenges into the marriage that created strain for everyone. After returning to the U.S., the marital challenges escalated and Bob began seeing another woman. It didn't take long for Jill to recognize the signs of infidelity and confronting her husband only confirmed her fears. Unfortunately, Jill found their marriage irreparable and turned to the legal system for help. She felt that divorce was her only option and she needed to get her own life back on track and move forward. After several unhappy years it was time to take action. But Bob continually complicated the situation by moving out, and then attempting to move back in, and this created confusion for Jill. Just when she believed she could trust him, something else would surface that indicated he was not faithful. Finally, she could take it no more and she decided that his indecisive behavior would no longer dictate how she lived. She moved forward with plans for divorce and that's when she discovered Mosaic Mediation and Liza Hill. After a brief conversation, she believed that mediation would offer greater benefits for both herself and Bob. It would be less financially burdensome and would help them both see each other's side of the situation more clearly. She was right. After finally convincing Bob to consult with Liza Hill, Jill was finally making decisions that made sense for her, Bob and their three children. Rather than an ugly court battle with accusations of adultery and desertion, complicated with child custody issues, the couple evaluated what was important to each of them. It always kept coming back to taking care of the children financially and emotionally. Liza helped the couple clearly articulate their wants, needs, and desires. They were able to discuss the options for the children and determine the living arrangements that offered the children the best home life, school environment, and social interactions. They were also able to take much of the emotion out of the situation and make better decisions about property distribution and ongoing support. After just three sessions with Liza, they were on track with a plan -- and when the plan was executed, both people felt comfortable with the outcome. "Without Liza, I'm afraid we would have spent our life savings in legal fees, only to be disappointed in the end. With her help, we were able to think clearly without the hassle of lawyers and so-called 'experts' dragging each of us through the ugly court battles that usually happen. Reliving the nightmare of Bob's affair was not something I looked forward to, and mediation did not focus on that aspect of our issues - it focused on the solutions. The most important thing to me is that our 3 children are cared for in the best way possible and we created a situation that helps them deal with the changes better. I am so glad that Bob was able to see what this means to me and to them -- and I'm glad I was able to understand what he needed to make it work so we could move forward," explains Jill. "For me, mediation was the quickest and least expensive answer to our problems and we were able to move on with our lives. I never thought our divorce could end with us being friends -- and that's important for the sake of our kids. They were always our number one priority," Bob relates. *Names are changed to protect privacy and confidentiality.

If you're facing divorce and child custody issues, mediation may be the perfect solution for you too. Give us a call.